Dear Jif Reduced Fat Creamy Peanut Butter,
You have been a staple of my life. I have loved you longer than I've known The Original Bestie (Jamie) and my husband combined. I've come to rely on you like Tiger Woods relied on that caddie who is now super pissed at him. We had a good thing going. So what is up with this?
I scoured two grocery stores in search of the giant vat of Reduced Fat Creamy I've cherished for decades, to no avail. Apparently now you only come in this itsy-bitsy, totally impractical size. Are you aware that there are still 3-year-olds who mass consume this stuff? And runners, who love some pb before or after a hard run?
I hereby put you on Notice until you can come to your senses again and start selling a reasonably sized jar of peanut butter.