There's tension here at JoannaRuns. I had a crappy "long" run this weekend, but it's a beautiful thing anyway.
The thing I am desperately in love with is, in fact, the same thing that totally FUBARed my "long" run yesterday: the growing baby in my belly. Allegedly the kid is going through a growth spurt right now. No freaking kidding!! This weekend was an epic saga of eat-sleep-repeat (read: conserve energy) while cramming in as much work/family/cleaning the house time as possible. The run just was not going to happen on Saturday. And when it did happen yesterday, it was slow, tired, and not a lot of fun.
No runner likes to see a run go awry. But, I am so helplessly in love with this tiny person I don't know yet. I want to shout this from the rooftop: I felt the first kicks last Thursday, and it's beyond magical. Right now while I type this I can feel my baby squirming around, just a little. I can't wait to get to know this baby. The next ultrasound--and gender reveal--is in two weeks. I feel like a little kid at Christmas, just almost incapacitated by the desire for the big day to be here already. I so badly want a peek!
This weekend was the first real reminder that sometimes I'm going to have to let things go when it comes to running while pregnant. While I can and will continue to run long into the pregnancy (maybe even up until delivery, if I'm lucky--my doctor and I are both hoping for this), there will be times that I need to cut myself some slack in even the reduced mileage/speed that I've been doing the last few months. I have to remember that the bar is different now, and that my finish line is the healthy delivery of my child (God willing) and not a PR under a huge digital clock. (Although, incidentally, a "labor PR" would be welcomed. Seriously. I was in labor for over 22 hours last time. And the image of a huge digital clock over a hospital bed is hilarious.)
Those of you who know me well know that I totally suck at letting things go. But, I've been through this once before, I get it. And I'm just so, so thankful.