Tonight while on the phone with my brother I was explaining that I was burning up because I had just consumed a cup of decaf coffee. He asked why I was drinking coffee if it was making me too warm. I told him I'd brewed it because I was thirsty. His response? "You know, I've never considered coffee a thirst quencher. If it were meant to quench thirst there would be a coffee flavored Gatorade."
Why has no one thought of this? It's brilliant. Runners could still (sort of) have their morning coffee, hydrate rather than dehydrate, and get all of those electrolytes. Starbucks could cash in on this.
"What will it be this morning?"
"I'll have a mocha latte Gatorade, please. Hold the whipped cream."
"That will be $4.73."
I'm buying stock now. You'll soon find this in my Catalog of Obscure Running Gear, right after the maternity dry-fit clothing section.